Friday, March 4, 2011

A Realist's View of Love

I used to be a hopeless romantic.

I used to believe in soul mates.

I used to believe that everyone has an other half.

I used to believe in true love.

Not anymore.

I'm not being bitter or cynical or anything.

Quite the opposite.

I had the good fortune of being in the class of this very very very amazing professor.

He broke down love for what it really is.

Love is not how media portrays it to be.

Love is often portrayed as magic.



Trust me, I used to believe in all of those.

But you see, love is not something that's already written in the heavens.

We aren't meant to be with anyone.

Ever heard of the phrase "learn to love" somebody?

That's the truth right there.

A person develops on us and we learn to look past this person's shortcomings.

That's it.

That's love.

It's learning to live with someone.

It's learning to look past the bad things in order to appreciate the good.

There's no moving mountains.

There's no other half of the soul.

There's only you

and this other person.

Choosing to be together.

Learning to be with each other.

Love is a choice.

You can control love.

It's not easy but it can be done.

If you like this person, you can learn to fall in love with that person.

If you have love, unrequited, you can choose not to love that person.

It hurts.

It's hard.


It's possible.

So, love is not predestined.

It's a choice.

All of this was part of a discussion from Jeffrey Velasco. Heavily paraphrased.

Finding a Boyfriend = Shopping

Media is a liar.

Makes me wanna bitchslap it.

Well, it's not a liar as much as it is a fool-er.

Fool-er (n) - person who fools other people

It's stupid how media feeds us all this crap about a girl being rescued by a guy.

How, we take one look at the guy and we just know.

Well, what if we don't?

Finding a boyfriend is not like an Easter Egg Hunt.

It's more like leisure shopping.

You walk around, not really looking for anything and when you find something you like, it looks good on, you buy it!

But if you like it on the hanger but it doesn't look good on, of course won't buy it.

Same goes with finding a boyfriend.

Girls, the perfect man is not gonna enter your life on a horse wearing an armor.

If that happens, bring out your pepperspray and spray like you've never sprayed before.

You don't find a boyfriend.

You can't help someone find the perfect one.

It just happens.