Friday, March 4, 2011

A Realist's View of Love

I used to be a hopeless romantic.

I used to believe in soul mates.

I used to believe that everyone has an other half.

I used to believe in true love.

Not anymore.

I'm not being bitter or cynical or anything.

Quite the opposite.

I had the good fortune of being in the class of this very very very amazing professor.

He broke down love for what it really is.

Love is not how media portrays it to be.

Love is often portrayed as magic.



Trust me, I used to believe in all of those.

But you see, love is not something that's already written in the heavens.

We aren't meant to be with anyone.

Ever heard of the phrase "learn to love" somebody?

That's the truth right there.

A person develops on us and we learn to look past this person's shortcomings.

That's it.

That's love.

It's learning to live with someone.

It's learning to look past the bad things in order to appreciate the good.

There's no moving mountains.

There's no other half of the soul.

There's only you

and this other person.

Choosing to be together.

Learning to be with each other.

Love is a choice.

You can control love.

It's not easy but it can be done.

If you like this person, you can learn to fall in love with that person.

If you have love, unrequited, you can choose not to love that person.

It hurts.

It's hard.


It's possible.

So, love is not predestined.

It's a choice.

All of this was part of a discussion from Jeffrey Velasco. Heavily paraphrased.


  1. Hello! The blog is very good!

  2. lovely inspirational post, I believe that you can control love too!

  3. Love is truth! To will the good of another person! To want the best for them.

  4. got me at 'just another one of them girls who are into fashion, books and make up'...hahaha...but you certainly HOOKED me with that post about love! :)

    I agree, I really do :) though I think you could also have CHOOSE to love CHOOSE to make it CHOOSE to believe that 'he's the one' :D

    I was about to say from your profile description that we have a lot in common. But you said you hate the media and I'm a reporter... :( haha :) no worries. it still is a cute blog!

  5. Is it true? that If you like this person, you can learn to fall in love with that person.? :)

    I gotta learn how to do so,, :)
    Following u btw.

  6. i'm single too. your post just inspired me.

  7. awww. i'm single as well. i love how you put/described love into words. im also a bit cynical when it comes to love, having experienced a lot of things from the past but just like what you have said, love is actually a choice. the actions and decisions that you make is how you compose your love around you.

    well written blog entry. i read the other entry you have linked in this post as well. you are one good and convincing writer i must say. keep it up babe!

    ~yeng and lorna

  8. ♥nice post.)) love your blog♥

  9. i totally agree with you about how the media idealizes a lot of things (in this case, love) wherein us, as a society have these unattainable views about them.

    great post! :)

  10. Love is both a choice and a destiny.
    Because we are the one who holds and molds our own destiny, and it is by making choices.

    I love your blog.
    Keep it up Michelle:'>


  11. Hi :) Nice blog you got there, I was wonderin if we could be friends and follow each others blogs? ^__^ Thank youuuu.~

  12. very well said

    I'll be rereading this ... often!!!